Habits, Get More Change Into Your Life
January 21st is known as the most depressing day of the year. It is the day when most of us realize we are not accomplishing our resolutions. If you are feeling a little down or frustrated, you’re not alone. Change is difficult, and the most difficult thing to change is one that requires a shift in our behavior. If you feel that you may never change somethings; or if you just want to get better at change and personal development, I think you will be interested in a scientifically supported practice that can really have an impact on how you go about change.
45% of your day is directed by habit
A Duke University study in 2006, found that over 40% of actions people performed each day were not due to conscious decisions, but were directed by habits. These routine and mostly unconscious behaviors are what are so incredibly difficult to change. These behaviors are literally entrenched into our neural pathways in our brain.
A habit, of course, is regular tendency to act in a specific way on a regular basis. It might be something like sitting down to the computer and reading emails or looking at Facebook first thing in the morning. Or it might be saying "yes" to people that ask you to do something before really thinking about it. Or it could be downing a bag of chips as soon as you walk in the door from work.
The Three steps
What exactly I am doing?
First clearly identify exactly what it is you are doing that you don’t like. This is deceptively simple. We are trying to identify behaviors that are unconscious, which means we don’t always know what we are doing. Start to pay attention as soon as you become aware of them write it down. For example: I don’t like when I ...
What initiates the behavior?
What is the trigger? Believe it or not, something happens that triggers your habit. For sitting down at the computer each morning, the trigger is walking to the office right after waking up. Saying yes is triggered by someone asking you a question. Eating a bag of chips might be walking by the pantry right after entering the house after work. Make it clear by asking yourself what is it that triggers this habit? Write it down.
What would I rather do?
What is the new behavior I want to do? The key here is that the new behavior must take 60 seconds or less. Find something you would rather do and make sure it takes less than a minute to complete.
Putting it all together.
Here is a sentence that has all three components. When I get up, (trigger) instead of walking to my office (bad habit I don’t like), I will walk to my dining room table and open my bible (new behavior done in less than 60 seconds). Or when someone asks me to do something, instead of saying “yes”, I will say “let me think about it and I will get back to you”. Or, when I walk through the door after work, instead of walking by the pantry I will walk around the kitchen and go straight to the office.
Some Tips
Focus on one habit at a time.
You may think, “I can do that with so many things!” Don’t get carried away just yet, remember the turtle beat the hare. Slow, dedicated, conscious effort on one habit at a time is worth far more if you work through them methodically. I promise that even after just a few times of doing something different you will feel a difference. When you feel the change, celebrate it, pat yourself on the back, remember that feeling, then move on to the next one.
Keep a habit journal:
Write these down in a notebook. Write down when you did well and what it felt like. Or if you’re struggling, make a change to one of the components and write a new sentence if you need to. Later, when you’re feeling down, you can open your habit notebook and look back at them, which will help you with boosting your morale on a hard day. It can also help you remember if you lose your way, that you can always get back on track.
Stay positive, you will fail. We all get distracted and fall into the old rut; the key here is to remember it’s not about perfection, it’s about progress. Focus on improving, be nice to yourself and start again.
So today, when we are all down because we didn’t lose the weight yet or spend every morning seeking God like we wanted to, realize its ok. Just find one small behavior that you want to change, follow these steps and see what happens from there.
It is still a Happy New Year!
